There and Back Again

One of my favorite authors is J.R.R. Tolkien. I remember when I first discovered his work. I was in seventh grade and it all started with my dad talking about going to see the first Hobbit movie in December 2012. He told me, “If you can sit through the first Lord of the Rings movie then you can come with me to see the Hobbit.” Not only did I make it through both movies, I quickly fell in love with the entire franchise and was eager to dive deeper. Not long after watching The Hobbit, I read the books, and with each page, I fell even more in love with a world beyond my own.

Though my life looks very different from Bilbo Baggins’, I’ve never related to him more than I do now. Bilbo left home unsure of himself, unaware of just how much the journey would change him. Along the way, he gained new friendships, unforgettable experiences, and personal growth. He laughed, he cried, he faced trials and uncertainties. He was stretched beyond his comfort zone and grew in courage, character, and perspective.

Eventually, Bilbo returned home, yet something had shifted. While Hobbiton remained unchanged in its simple, predictable ways, Bilbo had. He found it difficult to fully fit back in. Though he adapted in some ways, by the time we meet him again in The Fellowship of the Ring, he’s still seen as peculiar. And he still longs for adventure.

That’s how I feel about returning to the States.

When I first signed up to move to Spain, I couldn’t have predicted how deeply it would shape me. I knew I’d see new places and encounter different perspectives, but I didn’t anticipate how much I would come to love it or how tightly I would hold onto the people I met, the friendships I built, and the quiet, steady way God worked in and through it all.

Don’t get me wrong, I also faced plenty of trials and uncertainties. But God was faithful. He provided for me in every season, through every challenge. And I’ve grown so much. I’m more confident now. I’ve developed as a leader and communicator. I’m less afraid. My faith is deeper and more anchored. It’s undeniable. Spain changed me.

But like Bilbo, the time has come to return home. And I can’t help but wonder: how will that go? Will I be able to reintegrate? Will the longing I feel for this place I’ve come to call home ever fade?

I don’t have all the answers yet. Even if my heart hasn’t realized it yet, in my head, I know everything will be okay. I know I’ll land where God wants me. All the emotions and heart ache is part of the process. I trust that God will use this transition to refine me in new ways, to shape my character to look more like His. After all, He works all things for the good of those who love Him. And He cares for us far more deeply than we can ever imagine.

How has God worked in your life? What adventures has He taken you on? I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment or send a message!