To do or not to do?

Something I have been processing recently is busyness and my motivations behind being so busy. A part of me feels it's a part of my culture. I know endless busyness is not subject to US culture alone, however, in my experience it can be a defining attribute.

In the US, I have often felt pressured to measure my success based on how much I accomplished. It's pushed in high school that you have a better opportunity to get into a good college if you have been involved in sports, music, or other extracurriculars. Then in college you are told you have a better chance at getting a good job if you are involved in clubs, volunteer endeavors, and leadership gigs. Recently I had to teach some differences between the USA and British working culture. Comparatively, British employees spend more time after work with their colleagues than Americans. It’s this endless spiral of doing things that is pushed by materialism and keeping up with the Joneses.

Living in Spain has challenged my way of thinking in this area. I have found people are more willing and open to grab a drink or bite to eat and end up chatting for hours on end with no rush to get to the next activity. The bell rings calling for the end of recess and the teachers sit in the break room for another five minutes, unrushed in finishing their conversations. Now there are always exceptions to the rule, but overall I find the pace of life is slower, unhurried, in Spain. Although I have tried to adapt to this lifestyle, I still find myself filling my schedule with activities and hangouts. After visiting home for the Christmas Holidays I found myself questioning lots of things, primarily people pleasing (1), which has caused me to evaluate how busy I am.

Let's first look at what busyness is. Dictionary.com defines busyness as, “the quality or condition of being busy; lively but meaningless activity (2)." The second definition really hits at something in me, especially in my relationship with God.

I am reminded of a recent sermon on Matthew I heard at the young adults group I attend. We were looking at Matthew 7:22-23 (3) and the preacher presented an analogy along this line:

“Say there is an apple farmer with 100 workers. He receives news that the deadline for harvesting has been moved up from 8 weeks to 4 weeks. He goes to an agency and asks for more workers in order to meet the deadline. 

The new workers have loose morals and character, which angers the old workers. They go and complain to their boss who encourages the old workers to continue working faithfully. 

After the harvest, everyone lines up to be paid. The old workers receive their reward in full. However, the new workers come up to the apple farmer and he says he doesn’t know them. They were not working for him, but for the agency. Therefore they will receive their reward from there.”

The verse and analogy hit hard. I don’t want to fill my life with activities that I say I am doing in the name of the Father. God allows it in His goodness because He still has a will that needs to be accomplished. However, doing it without being in a relationship with Him, it becomes meaningless. I don’t want the activities and things I fill my life with at the end to be all without purpose. Therefore I have to prioritize my time with God. It is in the secret place where intimacy with the Father is built, not in the service, activities, or bustling around.

In order for my actions and activities to have purpose I need to spend time with God. This thought makes sense; however, I had come to a point where I was struggling with intimacy with God. It felt like He was absent from my quiet time. As I pondered why, it came back to people pleasing and busyness. I was treating my time with God like a checklist. I need to sit down and read x amount in the Bible, pray for x amount of time, and do x amount at church in service. My motivation was doing things I thought would please God and the result was lively but meaningless activity.

I needed a change. During this processing time, a friend suggested to me I take the pressure off myself to perform these tasks. If I read only one verse a day that's okay, because it's not about what we do. In her book 40 Days of Decrease, Alicia Britt Chole states, “a ‘stay’ is about presence, not productivity (4)." What I take this to mean is that, spending time with God doesn’t have to look like a checklist of things or looking “productive.” Although time with God does often include reading the Bible and prayer. What Chole is getting at, is time with God is also saying, “Here I am.” It’s not about rushing the moment or always trying to fill our time with God with activities. It’s also about simply being. Being with Him in His presence. With this shift in focus, my time with God has greatly improved.

Another scripture that comes to mind when reflecting on busyness is 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (5). In these verses, we see a list of actions and giftings. If a person does just the actions, apart from love, it sounds to God like a bunch of noise. The activities create noise that distracts from clearly hearing God’s voice and taint the sacrifice of worship through service. For me, this part about love also looks at motivation. As I said before, my motivation both in my relationship with God and with others was driven by people pleasing (1). I hoped to be recognized or receive praise for all that I was doing. My motivation was not love.

The Greek word for love used here is agape (6), which some argue is the noblest form of love used in the Greek (7). The rest of 1 Corinthians does an excellent job of defining this form of love. It is a sacrificial love that goes beyond emotion and is centered on others, not self. In practice this can look like doing things you don’t want to for the good of someone else. This can make it confusing and hard to spot the difference in motivation, which is why spending time with God is so important. He is the one who brings conviction and highlights the secret intentions of our hearts.

I am a busy person. I know this. Whether that is because of my home culture or personality is up for debate. Sometimes it feels like my thoughts boil down to: to do or not to do? Should I do this extra activity, or not? Should I go out with friends, or not? However, based on Matthew I think there are better questions to be asking myself.

• Have I spent time with God today? 

• Have I prioritized my relationship with God? 

• Will adding this extra thing take away time from Him?

First answering these questions will help to reprioritize my time. If my relationship with God comes first, I will have the energy and time to accomplish everything else He has called and assigned me to do. Then based on 1 Corinthians the next questions to ask myself are:

• What are my motivations? 

• Am I doing this out of love or obligation? 

• Am I doing this activity out of love or because I want the praise of man?

Busyness is a tough thing to tackle. It's easy to get caught up in saying yes to things and being involved. These things aren't necessarily bad. However, when they pull us away from intimacy with God and when our motivations are misplaced, that is where trouble finds us. I hope you will join me in walking out this call to walk in intimacy with God and being driven from a place of love!

Photo Credits

1. El Escorial (September 2023)

2. Varies coffee dates with friends around Madrid

3. Picking apples with my family; R&A Orchards, Ellijay Georgia (Fall 2020)

4. El Escorial (September 2023)

Endnotes